Ties that bind, ties that are broken

In speaking the words to you
In declaring who you are
The ties were broken

In waking up alone
And standing up more broken
The ties are bound

Seeing a path before me
Two roads, I had a choice
I chose to take the one
Already decided for me

And now, I am bound to that
direction
path
future
Until another choice is given

And so the silent words are
uttered
And the spell which bound
undone
Moving forward, not
looking backward

Indescribable
Unutterable
Simply
Being

Sometimes I think too much
I ponder and wonder
And come to a terrible conclusion

Emotional one side
Logical the other
Schzio!

Puzzled pieces still scattered to the
ends of the earth

One day,
to be made whole

Then fly & soar

And be free

I feel like I've lost you
I don't know what to say
The silence is more stifling
The words get in the way.

I don't know how to do this
To trust that you're ok
To know that we are friends still
The doubts get in the way.

I've surrendered you already
I've given you to Him
I can't keep holding onto you
I'm not sure I can stay

My heart it's cold and dark
It's silent in its beats
I'm letting it stay frigid
Not going near the heat.

I'm thinking of you always
Even though it's much too hard
I wish this heart of mine
would just stop beating

One day
I'll fly away
I'll soar and then be free

One day
I'll leave this earth,
this body and be ME!

In answer to community

My heart soars, longs & aches for you
I cry out & howl at the moon for you
My whole being mourns at all you have lost
and laughs at all you will gain

How can I express how I feel about
who you are.
The more I see you, the more I know you
and the more I love you
I cannot express enough in words how
much I long to soar with your spirit & soul

I want to stand on the mountain tops & scream
I want to fly in the clouds & dream
Of possibilities, of fantasies, of reckless abandon
breaking the shackles of this world & soaring.

I envy you, your ability to release yourself.
I want to watch you across a crowded room
with a glass of wine in my hand. See you working
the crowd, charming the women, and crowing with the
men. I just want to watch & see who you are, see if you notice
me watching you, seeing you. All of you.

Come, smell my hair & we will fly together.

See you soon

I will see you soon
And my dreams will be reality
I will look on you and say
Here you are.

I'll be coming soon
To the land of opportunity
To be seeing you
And sharing lives

I'll be wandering
Around the land that
you now call your home
Seeing family, and
making friends.

I have joy inside, and
a peace that now knows
no bounds. And I know
that I will be there soon.

The Eyes have it

Eyes are the window to the soul
can't wait until eye can see you.
eye have looked for you all my life

Seen you in many different forms
looked for you in many different places
eye saw you when I looked into my father's eyes

Eye see you when I look into my brother's eyes
My heart bursts with recognition
I cradle my soul in my hands, humming
in wonderment at how I've missed you.

You have been there, in everyone I've meet
All those I fell in love with before
It was you I was seeing
How could I have not recognised you?

Music uplifts me, draws me closer to the eternal
But you, I just look into the eyes, see into the
hearts, gaze into the souls of my dear, sweet
loves, and there you are looking back at me.

Who am I without you?

When you speak
My words are spoken
When you joke
My laughter flows
When you walk
My shoes leave footprints
When you talk
My soul it knows

Who you are
Is my story
Who am I
Your answer too
Can we really live alone
People need people need people need people
What's the question?
How to tell you I'm not whole

Never realised
till you came here
that I'll never be complete
That parts of me are missing
Until returned to me
When you come into my life
or when anyone passes through
Another piece of me returns
The jigsaw slowly getting done

I have no idea for how long
You & I we will be friends
I rejoice & wonder at you
For a moment without end
If its only for a whisper
that I have you in my life
I will once again thank God
For the jigsaw pieces person I've become.

I'm sorry Jay, you've been usurped

There is a lightness in my soul
From talking with you
There is a sadness in my soul
At your hurt

There is a part of me rejoicing
once again
As a missing piece of me has been
found

Shattered soul, no more is broken
pieces coming together once more
With the laughter & irreverence you provoke
Life is once again restored

If by Rudyard Kipling

This is one of my favourite poems ever by Mr Rudyard Kipling. Enjoy!

IF
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will, which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Alive and yet dying

Listening to Jazz
keeps me alive
Flowing cool
blood through these hot veins
Eyes closed
leaning back
letting the rhythm and notes
hit me.
Cool cat
How about that
Same time
Heart slowing down
Chocolate causing frown
Ache growing larger
as we get nearer to departure
nothing to fill
this growing void
'cept some jazz beats
rhythm and blues
sad trumpet tunes
fit my mood
solitude
beat poetry
all about me
aching for my heart
being torn apart
fixing for some blues
anything for the muse

Another one for Jay - who inspired this!

Late nights
Coffee dates
Tears of joy
Jay

Under rated
Overstated
Illuminated
Me

Heart exploding
Joy inside
Friendship offered
Not denied

Thank the Saviour
Not deserved
Friends in my life
Over heard

God conspiring
Through the people
To see me reach
my full potential

People needed
Friends succeeded
Break the walls down
Wonderfully FREE!

For J - Joy, maybe!

I'm lying, floating on my back
In the deep blue sea

Thinking, wondering about life
What is best for me

My long-lost friend beside me
Wants me to think of joy

He wants me to be happy
Typically, younger boy

I'd like to think I am sometimes
Maybe more than that I'm sure

Poetry is hard to write
when there is no despair.

My muse, she is called Melancholy
I must find one called Joy

But write now, it's kinda hard for me
You understand, dear boy!

So this is the best I can do
A poem just for you
Without the sadness hopefully
But still in keeping true
With who I am, there's aching
But, alot of belly laughs
We'll just have to meet someday
So you can see I'm fine
I'm beautiful, and wonderful
A mirror of the Divine!

Words - For my friend B

Get me a theasaurus
Join the chorus
I've lost my words
Haven't you heard

I can't remember
May to December
What the words are
Anymore

I'd like to say this
But don't know how to
See I've lost my words now
Don't know where to find them

If you see me
Wandering aimlessly
looking lost
searching high and low

Then you'll know
that you have found me
Searching for the words
lost long ago!

The games we play

It hurts to know
That what we once had
Is there no more
And so I play
A terrible game
Where any riposte will do
Get a reaction, just the same

I play around
Plenty of women do
Messing around with you
To see what reaction
Comes through

My heart in some dark recess
Feels the pain of another
loss
But it is numb to your cries
Of “don’t do this”

I wish that I wasn’t
Betrayed
Eve’s betrayal
Her curse
That you are important
To me

So I mess with your head
Play with your mind
Desperately trying
To leave it all behind
To forget the past
Move ahead in time

What can I do, O dear brother of mine?

Mama said there'd be days like these

It's going to be
one of those days
I can tell
when everything,
anything
descends into hell

when speaking is bad
and silence is better
when I wish that I
really hadn't sent that letter

when no matter
what happens
everything
goes real bad
it's going to
be one of
those days
Ah, so sad

Music drowning thoughts

If I listen loud enough
then the thoughts don't invade
I didn't know music would do this
should have started sooner

I can block the pain
of losing you again
If I listen loud enough
so the thoughts don't penetrate

I can stop the hurt
Hold it back
By turning the volume up
So rock soothes my soul
and blues & jazz make it whole
for a little while

iNsOmNiA

Unable to sleep
Eyelids drooping closed
through gravity alone
Yet mind won't
stop working

Thoughts
Dreams
Fears
All through the years

Keeping me awake
Nothing to shake
Away the blues

Waiting for a glimpse of you
Through an open window
Phantom shadows pass
Jolting me from day dreams
As I wonder if I will miss
the chance to get one
last look at you

A yawn escapes
Maybe the sandman
got through
Music blasting through
eardrums
Rocking bass
In the hope of keeping
the baby blues open
just a little longer

One last glance
one more gaze
Making memories
to last a lifetime
For I don't know
when I'll see you again.

Goodbye

One word
split in two
Good Bye

Not good
so bad
Heart-ripping
Pain

Leaving
Separation
No hint of repatriation

Hard to put into
words
what you mean to me

Music somber
Black day
This is how a heart breaks

Someone elses words
can describe better how I feel
Wish I could tell you
that I ........

Too hard
if I say the words
it's in the open
and then I'm vulnerable

Open, honesty
communication
more & more
insinuation

Double meanings
Play on words
I say one thing
Something else is heard

My heart is open
You have a place there
that's all I can say
All I'm willing to share

Forever
Seems so long
One day see one another
Baby, soon you're gone

Pictures line my wall
Not a shrine
More a remembrance of
a better time

Friendship, precious jewel
Gold refined in the fire
We had it and more
Willingness to learn
Ability to teach
You moulded me
Into the woman I was meant to be

Here to serve
Wanting to care
Ready to lay down my life
Laying my soul bare

To go far

We will go far
Know each other better
When?

Time going slow
But still you'll go
And leave me standing here
Waiting to be known

I'm not asking for much
Even if my words say more
I just want to talk
To share who I am

Age, a factor
I think I cracked it
I watched someone die
You didn't

And so that is why
You & I
chasm between us
Communication lost

Waiting for the other shoe to drop
Wondering if you'll die too
Will you leave me
without a proper goodbye

No more lies

Love, it means so much more

Love
Above
Lift the bar
Go far

Feel the beat
Watch the heat
See what you mean to me

Those few words
I cannot say
You'd misunderstand
And desert me

Black Friday
Departure
No more voice
Deaf to your noise

Memory will fade
Nothing new to create