Another one for Jay - who inspired this!

Late nights
Coffee dates
Tears of joy
Jay

Under rated
Overstated
Illuminated
Me

Heart exploding
Joy inside
Friendship offered
Not denied

Thank the Saviour
Not deserved
Friends in my life
Over heard

God conspiring
Through the people
To see me reach
my full potential

People needed
Friends succeeded
Break the walls down
Wonderfully FREE!

For J - Joy, maybe!

I'm lying, floating on my back
In the deep blue sea

Thinking, wondering about life
What is best for me

My long-lost friend beside me
Wants me to think of joy

He wants me to be happy
Typically, younger boy

I'd like to think I am sometimes
Maybe more than that I'm sure

Poetry is hard to write
when there is no despair.

My muse, she is called Melancholy
I must find one called Joy

But write now, it's kinda hard for me
You understand, dear boy!

So this is the best I can do
A poem just for you
Without the sadness hopefully
But still in keeping true
With who I am, there's aching
But, alot of belly laughs
We'll just have to meet someday
So you can see I'm fine
I'm beautiful, and wonderful
A mirror of the Divine!

Words - For my friend B

Get me a theasaurus
Join the chorus
I've lost my words
Haven't you heard

I can't remember
May to December
What the words are
Anymore

I'd like to say this
But don't know how to
See I've lost my words now
Don't know where to find them

If you see me
Wandering aimlessly
looking lost
searching high and low

Then you'll know
that you have found me
Searching for the words
lost long ago!

The games we play

It hurts to know
That what we once had
Is there no more
And so I play
A terrible game
Where any riposte will do
Get a reaction, just the same

I play around
Plenty of women do
Messing around with you
To see what reaction
Comes through

My heart in some dark recess
Feels the pain of another
loss
But it is numb to your cries
Of “don’t do this”

I wish that I wasn’t
Betrayed
Eve’s betrayal
Her curse
That you are important
To me

So I mess with your head
Play with your mind
Desperately trying
To leave it all behind
To forget the past
Move ahead in time

What can I do, O dear brother of mine?

Mama said there'd be days like these

It's going to be
one of those days
I can tell
when everything,
anything
descends into hell

when speaking is bad
and silence is better
when I wish that I
really hadn't sent that letter

when no matter
what happens
everything
goes real bad
it's going to
be one of
those days
Ah, so sad

Music drowning thoughts

If I listen loud enough
then the thoughts don't invade
I didn't know music would do this
should have started sooner

I can block the pain
of losing you again
If I listen loud enough
so the thoughts don't penetrate

I can stop the hurt
Hold it back
By turning the volume up
So rock soothes my soul
and blues & jazz make it whole
for a little while

iNsOmNiA

Unable to sleep
Eyelids drooping closed
through gravity alone
Yet mind won't
stop working

Thoughts
Dreams
Fears
All through the years

Keeping me awake
Nothing to shake
Away the blues

Waiting for a glimpse of you
Through an open window
Phantom shadows pass
Jolting me from day dreams
As I wonder if I will miss
the chance to get one
last look at you

A yawn escapes
Maybe the sandman
got through
Music blasting through
eardrums
Rocking bass
In the hope of keeping
the baby blues open
just a little longer

One last glance
one more gaze
Making memories
to last a lifetime
For I don't know
when I'll see you again.

Goodbye

One word
split in two
Good Bye

Not good
so bad
Heart-ripping
Pain

Leaving
Separation
No hint of repatriation

Hard to put into
words
what you mean to me

Music somber
Black day
This is how a heart breaks

Someone elses words
can describe better how I feel
Wish I could tell you
that I ........

Too hard
if I say the words
it's in the open
and then I'm vulnerable

Open, honesty
communication
more & more
insinuation

Double meanings
Play on words
I say one thing
Something else is heard

My heart is open
You have a place there
that's all I can say
All I'm willing to share

Forever
Seems so long
One day see one another
Baby, soon you're gone

Pictures line my wall
Not a shrine
More a remembrance of
a better time

Friendship, precious jewel
Gold refined in the fire
We had it and more
Willingness to learn
Ability to teach
You moulded me
Into the woman I was meant to be

Here to serve
Wanting to care
Ready to lay down my life
Laying my soul bare

To go far

We will go far
Know each other better
When?

Time going slow
But still you'll go
And leave me standing here
Waiting to be known

I'm not asking for much
Even if my words say more
I just want to talk
To share who I am

Age, a factor
I think I cracked it
I watched someone die
You didn't

And so that is why
You & I
chasm between us
Communication lost

Waiting for the other shoe to drop
Wondering if you'll die too
Will you leave me
without a proper goodbye

No more lies

Love, it means so much more

Love
Above
Lift the bar
Go far

Feel the beat
Watch the heat
See what you mean to me

Those few words
I cannot say
You'd misunderstand
And desert me

Black Friday
Departure
No more voice
Deaf to your noise

Memory will fade
Nothing new to create

Lonely No More

Do I know why I started this process
Of becoming who I was meant to be
Where do I begin
Where do I end

If I do a google search
Will I find the answer
Or a bunch of pages
with other facsimilies of me!

I searched high & low
To find you
I let you turn my life around
You turned me upside down

You made me question who I was
I found who I was meant to be
I started the process
Of rebuilding from my soul up.

You were the architect
You held the plans
You haven't watched the work progress
Where is the input I so need