Poet Angel

The one

2011-08-21T20:33:00.002+05:30

O be still my heart
O be clear my mind
Don't tell me he is the one
You've been wrong many times before

O new remembered pain
First crush relived time and again
Sweet agonies of loves first flush
Has come visit me in vain

Sweet lips with wit burst forth
Kind eyes with laughter burst
O flee from my mind
That I might only say your name.

Good music

2011-05-01T16:29:00.002+05:30

Strong beat
Melody
Heartfelt words
Soothes my soul and lets me sleep

Reminds me of happiness before
Allowed to feel
Kneel before the King?

Where are you?
I'm lost and can't find my way back
So listening to music
that will transport me home

Drum beat
Guitar
Thousand times
Don't know where you are?

Dear Amy

2011-04-29T02:25:00.002+05:30

Dear Amy,

I just called your husband.....
you know what I'm like
it's all going cool
then I do something stupid
I start being Fool
So I wanted to call him
to ask him, to say
How did you cope with me
When it was his day?

Of course he was a Muse
and a poet too
Soulreaver they called him
Which helped make it cool
Cos he understood irony
drama and such
But I have recently been wondering
was it all too much!?

So I called him to say
Stupidity beckoned
and i followed this day
And it's all going well
Seems all sorted and fine
But I really was wondering
pondering, how did he cope
being a Muse of mine?

Heartbreaker

2011-04-28T19:15:00.002+05:30

Time to play games
manipulate, subliminate
User, abuser
sell my soul
Dinner for two?

Heartbreaker, Mindshaker
Manipulater
Deliver me
Save me from myself

Haunting me, Taunting
Can't get you out of my head
Wish it was dead

You don't inspire.
No tower to climb
Still you covet the darkness
I want to deliver!

Reach for me, but only on my demand
Is anything freely given
My puppet on a string
Or a man free to bring

Hauntingly, terribly afraid
what I've created
what I've made
Is not sane, but given under pain
Duress, Mask in place
Heart held close

Weep inside
No longer able to hide
The monster become
Heartbreaker
Heart shattered
Simply, simply NUMB

You and Me

2011-04-28T01:19:00.003+05:30

It's always you and me
although you changes frequently
Is it how it's meant to be?
Consequently?

Another muse, another day
But not the inspiration anyway
I'd like to say.....
Not today

The past keeps recurring monumentally
Swallow sweets, that keep things happily
I'd like to call, but don't know what to say
I might just do it anyway!

Do you know this emptiness inside of me
Did I let something go, set it free?
Should I have held on tighter
Or was this guest just meant to see!?

I don't know how to live inside 4 walls
But it's been too long since I've wanted to fall
To fall means soaring high above the clouds
But also means a sheer drop
Bring on the clowns!!!

See, Feel, Know

2007-08-23T18:29:00.000+05:30

Writing what I see
how I feel
what I know

Learning what I watch
How I cry
When I grow

Seeing what I write
Feeling how!
I know what!?

Wondering if I'll ever make more sense
then morning times
when sense is drowned
In stuffed up heads
And colds galore!
When I can't remember what last night was for!

When hair is dyed
Funeral tomorrow at 8am!

Meeting inspiration

2007-08-23T09:53:00.000+05:30

I met a reminder of me today
A memory of what I used to be
Enthusiastic
Fantastic
Charismatic
A journal open ready to be perused
Just not handy to be read

Jazz
Background noise
Sleepy, tired head
Ready to sleep
and dream of memories!

2007-06-22T16:23:00.000+05:30

I'm concerned that you think I earned
the heart that you're just passing around
That you think my heart is just a thing I give away.

I am annoyed, that you think a void
has been created in my life.
And that I'm trying to fill it with you!

I am content, don't need to rent
an emotional ride that would come
with falling in love with you!

So just to be sure, I'm staying pure
I'm not in love at all
Just having some fun, catching some sun
And playing ball!

Secret Smiles

2007-06-07T09:48:00.000+05:30

You make me laugh
You make me smile
You make me think of God a little longer

You fill my heart
With joy and song
And I know that I can keep moving on

I love to be beside you
But there is distance keeping us apart
It makes my heart ache without you
But still I smile my secret smile.

You put the smile upon my face
when you laugh... staccato
You put the joy back in my heart
when you love... vibrato

I know one day I'll see you again
I hope you're travelling this road beside me
Towards an eternal kingdom calling
For smiles with hope everlasting

Family

2007-05-29T21:34:00.000+05:30

I miss you
But you call me every day
You are family
Even though we're far away

You send me silly rhymes
I say I'll send you cake
I go to spin a dime
You tell me I'll be ok

You are my brother now
In spirit & in truth
No blood between us
But to ourselves we are true

I love you more each day
the more I get to know you
As I find out how much
you love and adore me

You are a brother true
And I'd do anything for you.

Help!

2007-04-18T21:11:00.000+05:30

Despair
Such utter despair
And every earthly kind of fear
Descending upon me
Driving me
Deeper into
Despair!

"Help", a tiny whisper
I don't know
how to get
out of this
How to find
my way out!
Pray
Help
I just want to
get away from this
Only one release I know
The release of blood
Blood sacrifice
To appease the
Demon of Despair!

Wants & Needs

2007-03-10T00:23:00.000+05:30

I don't know what I want anymore
I don't know what I need
I'm not sure what I'm searching for
Or even if I am anymore.

It all just seems to be gone
Pointless
Meaningless
Not worth the fight.

I want you, but only to protect me
To guard me from myself
But last time I asked that of you
You withdrew!

I need you to touch me again
To scald me with your touch
To burn in me a sense
That I can feel again.

Your arms wrapped around me
I need the simplicity
I need to be away
from everything.

I have so many crutches
addictions, none of them good
But you. You are beauty
You are perfection
Holy, in a way a man should not be!

It is sacreligious that I think of you this way
I'm not sure that I can believe in the
things of my youth.
I need to feel - I've lost my faith

I've lost my way, and deep down
in a crevice hidden deep in my heart
There is the sound of my soul breaking
A long hidden sob crying out
And if you listen carefully & quietly you can hear it!

I don't know how to do this without you
I don't know how to find my way back
I'm not sure I can do this
Crawl back from the darkness that is in my mind
Memory is a constant reminder of
what I've allowed to be created in order to hide.

I need you. I need somebody. I need.....to be fixed.
Isn't that what you said you did.
Can I not come to you, and ask that you heal me
Put your hands on me, and burn away the dark,
the sin, the horror, the blackness that I have become.

Harmony & Lullabies

2007-02-19T21:12:00.000+05:30

Sing me a lullaby
Let your sweet voice sooth my dreams
Sing me a lullaby
As you watch over me

Sing me a lullaby
That I drift away from the
ugliness of life here
Sing me a lullaby
So I can forget the darkness for a while

Oh, sweet, angel voice
Sweet, sweet spirit
Guardian
Soldier
Protector
Believe in you, even if
you only exist in my mind

Surrender to your voice
Submit myself to you
Get lost inside my head
And live where you love me
Forever
Always
Beauty surrounding
Beautiful Me

To sleep, perchance to dream
To dream, perchance to love you.

Obedience

2007-02-19T14:13:00.000+05:30

I should be obedient
But all I have been doing is rebel
I'm supposed to worship you
I think maybe that I'm going to hell

It is wilful disobedience
I'm refusing to surrender to your will
I'm not listening to the quiet voice
Not wanting to keep so very still

I'm afraid of what you'll ask of me
I'm scared that I'll give up
all my hopes & dreams
Will you ask for the impossible
that I live a life that is still unseen

I want to be loved -
will you ask that I live a life alone
I want to go elsewhere
will you ask that I consider only one place home
I want to be worked hard
will you ask that I sit and contemplate
I want a family
will you ask me to forsake all this for you

So can you see why I'm being disobedient
I don't want to be, but I'm afraid of you
Ask for my surrender, and I wish I could
say yes
But this hold on me, it's too hard to let go

All I'm offering is a tiny little step
That's all I can give to you
I'm not even sure what's next
Maybe one more step that follows,
then one more.
One day maybe I'll discover
that my life is once more yours.

Not about you

2007-02-19T14:10:00.000+05:30

I can't sleep without you
Can't stop thinking of you
Just sing me a lullaby

I'm addicted to you
All this pain I'm going through
Just sing me a lullaby

Let me close my eyes
And dream far away
Of a place of peace
Where you can't haunt me

So sing me a lullaby
Don't wake me when I scream
Just sing me a lullaby
And maybe I won't dream

Petals on a breeze

2007-02-08T15:56:00.000+05:30

You don't send me flowers
yet I lay awake for hours
thinking of you.

I want to give you love
the way that you gift it to me
But I don't know how to.

So I just wish upon a star
send you petals on a breeze
give you kisses in my dreams

And say in my own way
that I love you

Inside

2007-01-12T11:19:00.000+05:30

I don't go out anymore
Not really
I stay at home
I watch TV
And sleep, sleep
perchance to dream

I am afraid
Of the dark
Of the night
Of being alone
So I hide myself

I am in a desert now
Wandering without food or water
Or anything like that
I cannot express to those around me
But I'm slowly dying inside
I don't let anyone close anymore
It's hard & it hurts

They think I'm developing a thick skin
That I'm maturing
and growing
But I'm fading
and dying
And they don't understand
don't want to understand
don't know how to understand
And do not know what questions to ask anyway.

You

2007-01-10T00:09:00.000+05:30

The smell of you lingers for a moment more
Before it disappears
And the feel of your arms wrapped around me
slowly the sensation leaves
And the rain will keep on falling
And I'll pretend that
It doesn't hurt
To say goodbye!

And I don't know when I'll see you again
And it won't be the same anyway
Because this time
I saw you
You
Who you really are
You, who will be there for me
In my darkest hour
You, who I will never call
because I couldn't let
You
see me like that!

And right now, for a moment
the darkness pulls me in
I listen to sad songs
And dream that you are still near
and remember the moment
when I really saw you.

And I miss you
and my heart hurts
but only for a moment
because it always hurts to feel
and so I don't allow it for very long
especially goodbyes.

So, so long for now
and maybe it'll be a year
and maybe it will be two
Or maybe a lifetime
And maybe I'll pick up the phone
one day, when the pain is too much
and say those words
I need you
Or maybe I won't need to.
Maybe the pain of feeling anything
won't be so bad anymore

So dear, dear one
My Gorgeous
This is a poem for you
And don't read too much into it
'cos I write it as I still feel the pain
of yet another goodbye
And I promise to write brighter poetry
again, someday soon!

Live well, live bright
Live strong and Live long
At least until you're 80 years old
For me at least
So long.

Masks

2006-12-11T10:48:00.000+05:30

This is a poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar!

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,--
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be overwise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

Surprises

2006-12-08T14:51:00.000+05:30

You were going to surprise me on my birthday
Yeah I read the comment you wrote
On my friends blog
Asking when my birthday was!

Well the day has been and gone
And in our friendship
We've moved on
But still I want you to know
I like surprises!

So surprise me
any day of the week
any month, or any year
It can just be a phone call
Telling me that you are here!
I really don't mind surprises
Especially from you
It's nice to know you're remembering me
While I'm remembering you

It seems that it's always me
Giving you a call
Or writing you an email
Or bothering you at all
I really don't mind that
It's no hardship for me
But still it's nice to know you care
And are thinking still of me!

So when you're old and in your 30's
Just remember you've a friend
Who lives half way around the world
And drives you round the bend
But who always likes to remember
That sometimes you need a call
to be reminded that you're cared
about!
From me to you - that's all

Bouncy

2006-12-06T10:35:00.000+05:30

I feel so bouncy
and flouncy
I've got that song of Angel's in my brain
I'm renting
I'm venting
A musical is making me go insane

La vie boheme
It's just flying through my brain
A musical
the music is just flowing through my veins

The rhythm
exciting
inviting
I want to beat it out
on drums of steel
My head
pounding
rebounding
I've got to get this musical appealed

La vie boheme!!

You're a boy and I'm a girl

2006-12-06T10:29:00.000+05:30

You're a boy, and I'm a girl
And I don't know what to say to you
We don't date
We don't hate
We're just friends
and I don't know how to do this!

I read a book
I took a look
and how I'm supposed to be with guys I love
But it's not the same
with you & I
We're just friends
Unless I got it wrong again

I wish I knew
what to say
when you don't talk anymore!
Is it just me
Or something else
I'm such a girl
with no success!

Before we met,
I knew just how, I should be with you
I bit of this, a hint of that
It was all so playful!
But now we've seen
It was like a dream
But I got over that
You're still the same
We're still both annoying brats

Is it just me
the paranoia of a female mind
Are we no more
friends of a different kind
I wish I knew
how to talk to you again
Are you afraid
that my feelings have changed.

So let's be clear
At least in poetry and song
I'm just your friend
that's all I've ever wanted all along!
We may have touched
a different part of each other's souls
But that don't mean
that I don't want you in my life anymore!

Icy

2006-11-09T10:55:00.000+05:30

I'm numb
that's what this is
Or icy & cold
Or frozen inside
Or maybe I'm fire
all molten ablaze
I'm not sure
I'm lost
Can't get out of the maze

In a daze
is this what it feels
like when you're no
longer in love
when you reach for the
stars that aren't
there anymore
Is this what it feels like
when there's nothing
to do
except think, and ponder
and wander anew.

Is this what the aftermath
is like when you're coping
not laughing, or crying
not weeping or joking.
Is this what it feels like
when your heart is breaking
Or maybe it's broken
Oh why am I shaking.

Is this what it feels like
to be truly alone
to be lost in your mind
when there's nobody home
Is this my worst nightmare
to be trapped in this fog
With no hope of rescue
No hope of God

It's the ice, that i'm feeling
there's no fire or passion
Just dull, boring senses
that no longer matter
It's the cold, freezing chill
Of the lonliest people
that's now in my bones
And spreading it's feeling

My heart is now frozen
The Snow Queen is in
There's no real emotion
It's too hard.
It's no sin.
There's no more safety
there is plenty to fear
I'm going to sleep now
I don't want to hear

Sorry

2006-11-08T09:32:00.000+05:30

I haven't been to see you
I haven't even called
I want to be so close to you
But there's a distance
There's a wall

I wish I knew how to say it
I wish I could speak those words
But it's been so long
I'm afraid of what could go wrong

Are you asking me for too much
You want the truth & not a lie
It's hard to hold on to you
When my vision is going blind

I'm trying to reach out for you
but it seems so hard to do
I'll keep on trying
I'll keep on fighting
One day, one day soon

Who am I and Who I am

2006-11-03T13:20:00.000+05:30

Who am I
And how was I made
Am I a jigsaw puzzle
made of lots of different pieces
and is every piece of me
Made from what other people shaped

Who I am
I am a piece of music
A piece of fiction
a piece of a person
a piece of a soul
a piece of a spirit
a piece of creation
a piece of the God who made me now
a piece of you and what you are too me
a piece of her & what she gave me
a piece of him & how he loved or hated me
a piece of whoever is in my life right now

Who am I
and is this the way
I should be
Made up of pieces that other
people gave me?

Love Poems

2006-10-31T22:41:00.000+05:30

a love poem for my teeth
I heard the poet say
and he talked about something beautiful
but ugly got in the way!

Write a love poem for your body
for the parts that you
really don't love
He told his tiny audience
That's a directive sent from above.

I'd like to write a love poem to my body then
To the parts that I really hate
lets start with the area just below my
shoulders, and wander on down from there.

I think we can stop at my knees though,
so is that the area called my torso??
I really don't know how to write anymore
But that's how love poems go!

Should I write how I'd like it to look like
All thin, gaunt & streamlined

Not all bumpy & lumpy
and fatty & plumpy, but
gorgeous & flat
like a sleek jaguar cat!
I'd like to look like a model,
those ones they call heroin chic!
Not sure how the rest of my body would look like
with a physique looking that sleek
a little bit odd, a little bit weird!
I think I might try growing a beard!

Ok, that's the end of the love poem
I really can't write anything more
It's all rather funny to be writing this much
About a body I'm not even sure
how I feel about, not writing more!

I'm going to work on changing the body though
not through writing a love poem on it!
Going to go to the gym, stay away from the sin
that is chocolate & pastries & more!
At least that's the plan in my head now
I don't know, will it come to fruition
Will see if it does
If not
there is always
another love poem
to write

Trust

2006-10-31T13:16:00.000+05:30

I fight
I'm lost
I don't know where I'm going to
I shout
Do you hear me
Where are you leading me?

I yell and scream
Try & cause a scene
Do you know what you're doing with my life
I cry and weep
Try and get some sleep
I have to trust that you've got me in your hands

I'll just let go
It's more than a show
I'm depending on you to get me through
One day at a time
One moment that's mine
I trust that you will carry me

Footprints in the sand
Only one set to see
As you carry me
Carry me
Close to you
I feel your strength
Trust that I'm ok
That you're holding me close
Making it through each day

Better..

2006-10-23T01:00:00.000+05:30

Better is one day in your courts
So take me home
I want to be with you
I long for it
My desire is to be yours
To be with you
O, take me home
Draw me to you
Keep me by your side
May I be your queen
Take me home
To be with you forever
I just want to be with you forever
I long & desire you, to be with you
Always with you, forever you
Only you.

I am not of this world
Never will be
Never was
My soul & mind
struggle with this mortal coil
Most times I am restless
in spirit
fighting against the confines
of this imprisonment
There are moments, merely moments
of peace.
A quiet within
A true silence
When I think of you, of being with you for eternity!

The CURSE

2006-10-23T00:58:00.000+05:30

And though your desire will be for your husband, he will be your master. Genesis 3:10

I am cursed to want you
I'm cursed to love you
I'm cursed to desire you
I'm cursed to fear you
the power you have
over me
Will you treat me right
will you keep me safe
will you protect me - even from yourself?

Who is my protector
Who will fight for me
Who will guard my honour
Rescue me?

I......don't know how

2006-10-23T00:55:00.000+05:30

We need to talk
But can I tell you
of the fears inside
my mind

I need to tell you
But I don't know
if you will
respond in kind

Rejection?
Retreat?
Take the safety net
from under my feet?

I want to tell you
I'm lost inside my head
I want to love you
Can it be said?

Bare

2006-10-21T20:50:00.000+05:30

Love the skin
Real contact
Heat within
Natural body
Real & true
Nothing fake
Red not blue

Closer contact
Made it real
Made it human
Meant I feel

Liquid swallowed

2006-10-21T20:48:00.000+05:30

Liquid
swallowed
Makes
me
think
Kinda
pensive
Need
a
shrink

Missing your strength

2006-10-11T03:52:00.000+05:30

I miss you
As I feel, so much
I miss your strength
Your wisdom
Your intellect!

You write
you debate
You think
And all I can do is feel!

So hard being me sometimes
And all I want is your strength
your sanity
as I get lost in all this emotion

Missing you, missing who you are
making me stronger than who I am!

Nervous

2006-10-06T23:26:00.000+05:30

I'm nervous
waiting
anticipating

Adonis
coming to see me.

Confused about how I feel
What is real

Adonis
coming to my door

Wondering at my worth
my value

Adonis
coming to see me

Trying to summon courage
No need to worry
I am beautiful
and wonderful

I am fearfully & wonderfully made!

2006-10-06T23:23:00.000+05:30

Met a maestro today
a poet, a devil
A Hungarian mish-mash
goulash
whatever.
Inspired to words,
languages
forever.
Theasaurus
A chorus
Incomplete
Without feet
Journey continues on

Some thoughts

2006-10-03T10:08:00.000+05:30

I wish I knew how to thank you
For what you said
For your apology

I don't know how to thank you though. What can I offer you, what can I give you that will show you how much I appreciate what you wrote.

I thought of this a while. Can I give you my soul - belongs to God. My spirit - belongs to him as well. Would I offer you my body, in thanks. I consider it a while, but I thought that maybe you would misunderstand my intentions, and all I didn't want that. I just wanted to say thanks.
But you don't know how much this means to me. One of those women who has longed for chivalry and watched it die. When it happens now, I react badly - I wonder what they want, what am I supposed to give in response. And here I am now, wanting to give & not knowing how!

So I give you my friendship, my love, my loyalty, it isn't much. I'm sorry, but it is all I have that is mine to give! So please accept the pennies that are offered, and know that they are given for standing up, and speaking out. And staying strong despite what the world wants you to do.

To a beautiful man

2006-10-03T09:49:00.000+05:30

I wish I knew how
to say all the words
inside me right now
As I gaze in your eyes

That you fight for me still
when the world says no more
and you bear no ill-will
for me evening the score

My heart will rejoice
that you allow me a voice
To speak up & speak out
And I still can be me

I am beautiful here
because you look at me clear
You see the woman I am
You are a wonderful man.

A little crack!

2006-09-12T07:53:00.000+05:30

My heart broke a little
A small, little crack
The tiniest of shatterings
Stopped me dead in my tracks

Made me think of the path
Heading down in my mind
Saw the stop sign ahead of me
A definitive sign!

The heart hurts a bit
My mind aches a little
But at least I'm now stopped
And I stand here alone!

Crying out to my Jesus
Trying not to hear lies
Knowing truth I am worthy
I am not all despised

Listening truth as it's spoken
Make sure that I hear
Truth again, I'm not broken
What I'm hearing is clear

I'm a child of the King
A princess in waiting
I'm desirable and wanted
That's the truth that's awoken

Prayer of David!

2006-09-11T08:13:00.000+05:30

I can't stop thinking about you
I pray
My thoughts are always on you
I pray
My mind won't forget you
I pray

In everything I do, I'm reminded of you
I smile
I wake up from my sleep and I think of you
I smile
I start to write to you
I smile

O Lord, may my smiles be from you
Commit my heart to you
And all that I think of, come from you

A psalm

2006-08-04T11:02:00.000+05:30

I am lost without you
I am in a feverish state
Crying out for you,
stretching out my hand to you

And yet, you are right beside me
Gently, moping my fevered brow
Whispering into my ear

My precious, precious child
I will never leave you or forsake you

I am here beside you
Right here next to you
Do not cry so harshly for me
for I can hear your quiet cries
the sobs & whimpers as you are sleeping

I am here beside you
comforting and calming you
Do not reach so far ahead for me
Just turn your head and you will see me.

Do not look for me
in your fevered state
But know in your heart
that I am here, always here for you.

I love you
You are mine
I love you
Do not forget that
I desire you
I long for you
I chase you
I create for you
Everything I do, is for you.

I die for you

Ties that bind, ties that are broken

2006-07-25T13:51:00.000+05:30

In speaking the words to you
In declaring who you are
The ties were broken

In waking up alone
And standing up more broken
The ties are bound

Seeing a path before me
Two roads, I had a choice
I chose to take the one
Already decided for me

And now, I am bound to that
direction
path
future
Until another choice is given

And so the silent words are
uttered
And the spell which bound
undone
Moving forward, not
looking backward

Indescribable
Unutterable
Simply
Being

2006-07-20T10:27:00.000+05:30

Sometimes I think too much
I ponder and wonder
And come to a terrible conclusion

Emotional one side
Logical the other
Schzio!

Puzzled pieces still scattered to the
ends of the earth

One day,
to be made whole

Then fly & soar

And be free

2006-07-20T10:22:00.000+05:30

I feel like I've lost you
I don't know what to say
The silence is more stifling
The words get in the way.

I don't know how to do this
To trust that you're ok
To know that we are friends still
The doubts get in the way.

I've surrendered you already
I've given you to Him
I can't keep holding onto you
I'm not sure I can stay

My heart it's cold and dark
It's silent in its beats
I'm letting it stay frigid
Not going near the heat.

I'm thinking of you always
Even though it's much too hard
I wish this heart of mine
would just stop beating

One day
I'll fly away
I'll soar and then be free

One day
I'll leave this earth,
this body and be ME!

In answer to community

2006-07-06T09:38:00.000+05:30

My heart soars, longs & aches for you
I cry out & howl at the moon for you
My whole being mourns at all you have lost
and laughs at all you will gain

How can I express how I feel about
who you are.
The more I see you, the more I know you
and the more I love you
I cannot express enough in words how
much I long to soar with your spirit & soul

I want to stand on the mountain tops & scream
I want to fly in the clouds & dream
Of possibilities, of fantasies, of reckless abandon
breaking the shackles of this world & soaring.

I envy you, your ability to release yourself.
I want to watch you across a crowded room
with a glass of wine in my hand. See you working
the crowd, charming the women, and crowing with the
men. I just want to watch & see who you are, see if you notice
me watching you, seeing you. All of you.

Come, smell my hair & we will fly together.

See you soon

2006-06-27T09:20:00.000+05:30

I will see you soon
And my dreams will be reality
I will look on you and say
Here you are.

I'll be coming soon
To the land of opportunity
To be seeing you
And sharing lives

I'll be wandering
Around the land that
you now call your home
Seeing family, and
making friends.

I have joy inside, and
a peace that now knows
no bounds. And I know
that I will be there soon.

The Eyes have it

2006-05-25T09:34:00.000+05:30

Eyes are the window to the soul
can't wait until eye can see you.
eye have looked for you all my life

Seen you in many different forms
looked for you in many different places
eye saw you when I looked into my father's eyes

Eye see you when I look into my brother's eyes
My heart bursts with recognition
I cradle my soul in my hands, humming
in wonderment at how I've missed you.

You have been there, in everyone I've meet
All those I fell in love with before
It was you I was seeing
How could I have not recognised you?

Music uplifts me, draws me closer to the eternal
But you, I just look into the eyes, see into the
hearts, gaze into the souls of my dear, sweet
loves, and there you are looking back at me.

Who am I without you?

2006-05-18T11:12:00.000+05:30

When you speak
My words are spoken
When you joke
My laughter flows
When you walk
My shoes leave footprints
When you talk
My soul it knows

Who you are
Is my story
Who am I
Your answer too
Can we really live alone
People need people need people need people
What's the question?
How to tell you I'm not whole

Never realised
till you came here
that I'll never be complete
That parts of me are missing
Until returned to me
When you come into my life
or when anyone passes through
Another piece of me returns
The jigsaw slowly getting done

I have no idea for how long
You & I we will be friends
I rejoice & wonder at you
For a moment without end
If its only for a whisper
that I have you in my life
I will once again thank God
For the jigsaw pieces person I've become.

I'm sorry Jay, you've been usurped

2006-05-18T11:09:00.000+05:30

There is a lightness in my soul
From talking with you
There is a sadness in my soul
At your hurt

There is a part of me rejoicing
once again
As a missing piece of me has been
found

Shattered soul, no more is broken
pieces coming together once more
With the laughter & irreverence you provoke
Life is once again restored

If by Rudyard Kipling

2006-03-29T22:36:00.000+05:30

This is one of my favourite poems ever by Mr Rudyard Kipling. Enjoy!

IF
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will, which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Alive and yet dying

2006-03-22T11:10:00.000+05:30

Listening to Jazz
keeps me alive
Flowing cool
blood through these hot veins
Eyes closed
leaning back
letting the rhythm and notes
hit me.
Cool cat
How about that
Same time
Heart slowing down
Chocolate causing frown
Ache growing larger
as we get nearer to departure
nothing to fill
this growing void
'cept some jazz beats
rhythm and blues
sad trumpet tunes
fit my mood
solitude
beat poetry
all about me
aching for my heart
being torn apart
fixing for some blues
anything for the muse

Another one for Jay - who inspired this!

2006-02-16T11:47:00.000+05:30

Late nights
Coffee dates
Tears of joy
Jay

Under rated
Overstated
Illuminated
Me

Heart exploding
Joy inside
Friendship offered
Not denied

Thank the Saviour
Not deserved
Friends in my life
Over heard

God conspiring
Through the people
To see me reach
my full potential

People needed
Friends succeeded
Break the walls down
Wonderfully FREE!

For J - Joy, maybe!

2006-02-11T10:59:00.000+05:30

I'm lying, floating on my back
In the deep blue sea

Thinking, wondering about life
What is best for me

My long-lost friend beside me
Wants me to think of joy

He wants me to be happy
Typically, younger boy

I'd like to think I am sometimes
Maybe more than that I'm sure

Poetry is hard to write
when there is no despair.

My muse, she is called Melancholy
I must find one called Joy

But write now, it's kinda hard for me
You understand, dear boy!

So this is the best I can do
A poem just for you
Without the sadness hopefully
But still in keeping true
With who I am, there's aching
But, alot of belly laughs
We'll just have to meet someday
So you can see I'm fine
I'm beautiful, and wonderful
A mirror of the Divine!

Words - For my friend B

2006-01-26T15:37:00.000+05:30

Get me a theasaurus
Join the chorus
I've lost my words
Haven't you heard

I can't remember
May to December
What the words are
Anymore

I'd like to say this
But don't know how to
See I've lost my words now
Don't know where to find them

If you see me
Wandering aimlessly
looking lost
searching high and low

Then you'll know
that you have found me
Searching for the words
lost long ago!

The games we play

2006-01-16T11:31:00.000+05:30

It hurts to know
That what we once had
Is there no more
And so I play
A terrible game
Where any riposte will do
Get a reaction, just the same

I play around
Plenty of women do
Messing around with you
To see what reaction
Comes through

My heart in some dark recess
Feels the pain of another
loss
But it is numb to your cries
Of “don’t do this”

I wish that I wasn’t
Betrayed
Eve’s betrayal
Her curse
That you are important
To me

So I mess with your head
Play with your mind
Desperately trying
To leave it all behind
To forget the past
Move ahead in time

What can I do, O dear brother of mine?

Mama said there'd be days like these

2006-01-13T09:53:00.000+05:30

It's going to be
one of those days
I can tell
when everything,
anything
descends into hell

when speaking is bad
and silence is better
when I wish that I
really hadn't sent that letter

when no matter
what happens
everything
goes real bad
it's going to
be one of
those days
Ah, so sad

Music drowning thoughts

2006-01-12T23:57:00.000+05:30

If I listen loud enough
then the thoughts don't invade
I didn't know music would do this
should have started sooner

I can block the pain
of losing you again
If I listen loud enough
so the thoughts don't penetrate

I can stop the hurt
Hold it back
By turning the volume up
So rock soothes my soul
and blues & jazz make it whole
for a little while

iNsOmNiA

2006-01-12T23:49:00.000+05:30

Unable to sleep
Eyelids drooping closed
through gravity alone
Yet mind won't
stop working

Thoughts
Dreams
Fears
All through the years

Keeping me awake
Nothing to shake
Away the blues

Waiting for a glimpse of you
Through an open window
Phantom shadows pass
Jolting me from day dreams
As I wonder if I will miss
the chance to get one
last look at you

A yawn escapes
Maybe the sandman
got through
Music blasting through
eardrums
Rocking bass
In the hope of keeping
the baby blues open
just a little longer

One last glance
one more gaze
Making memories
to last a lifetime
For I don't know
when I'll see you again.

Goodbye

2006-01-12T18:13:00.000+05:30

One word
split in two
Good Bye

Not good
so bad
Heart-ripping
Pain

Leaving
Separation
No hint of repatriation

Hard to put into
words
what you mean to me

Music somber
Black day
This is how a heart breaks

Someone elses words
can describe better how I feel
Wish I could tell you
that I ........

Too hard
if I say the words
it's in the open
and then I'm vulnerable

Open, honesty
communication
more & more
insinuation

Double meanings
Play on words
I say one thing
Something else is heard

My heart is open
You have a place there
that's all I can say
All I'm willing to share

Forever
Seems so long
One day see one another
Baby, soon you're gone

Pictures line my wall
Not a shrine
More a remembrance of
a better time

Friendship, precious jewel
Gold refined in the fire
We had it and more
Willingness to learn
Ability to teach
You moulded me
Into the woman I was meant to be

Here to serve
Wanting to care
Ready to lay down my life
Laying my soul bare

To go far

2006-01-12T16:44:00.000+05:30

We will go far
Know each other better
When?

Time going slow
But still you'll go
And leave me standing here
Waiting to be known

I'm not asking for much
Even if my words say more
I just want to talk
To share who I am

Age, a factor
I think I cracked it
I watched someone die
You didn't

And so that is why
You & I
chasm between us
Communication lost

Waiting for the other shoe to drop
Wondering if you'll die too
Will you leave me
without a proper goodbye

No more lies

Love, it means so much more

2006-01-12T16:41:00.000+05:30

Love
Above
Lift the bar
Go far

Feel the beat
Watch the heat
See what you mean to me

Those few words
I cannot say
You'd misunderstand
And desert me

Black Friday
Departure
No more voice
Deaf to your noise

Memory will fade
Nothing new to create

Lonely No More

2006-01-12T16:37:00.000+05:30

Do I know why I started this process
Of becoming who I was meant to be
Where do I begin
Where do I end

If I do a google search
Will I find the answer
Or a bunch of pages
with other facsimilies of me!

I searched high & low
To find you
I let you turn my life around
You turned me upside down

You made me question who I was
I found who I was meant to be
I started the process
Of rebuilding from my soul up.

You were the architect
You held the plans
You haven't watched the work progress
Where is the input I so need