Ties that bind, ties that are broken

In speaking the words to you
In declaring who you are
The ties were broken

In waking up alone
And standing up more broken
The ties are bound

Seeing a path before me
Two roads, I had a choice
I chose to take the one
Already decided for me

And now, I am bound to that
direction
path
future
Until another choice is given

And so the silent words are
uttered
And the spell which bound
undone
Moving forward, not
looking backward

Indescribable
Unutterable
Simply
Being

Sometimes I think too much
I ponder and wonder
And come to a terrible conclusion

Emotional one side
Logical the other
Schzio!

Puzzled pieces still scattered to the
ends of the earth

One day,
to be made whole

Then fly & soar

And be free

I feel like I've lost you
I don't know what to say
The silence is more stifling
The words get in the way.

I don't know how to do this
To trust that you're ok
To know that we are friends still
The doubts get in the way.

I've surrendered you already
I've given you to Him
I can't keep holding onto you
I'm not sure I can stay

My heart it's cold and dark
It's silent in its beats
I'm letting it stay frigid
Not going near the heat.

I'm thinking of you always
Even though it's much too hard
I wish this heart of mine
would just stop beating

One day
I'll fly away
I'll soar and then be free

One day
I'll leave this earth,
this body and be ME!

In answer to community

My heart soars, longs & aches for you
I cry out & howl at the moon for you
My whole being mourns at all you have lost
and laughs at all you will gain

How can I express how I feel about
who you are.
The more I see you, the more I know you
and the more I love you
I cannot express enough in words how
much I long to soar with your spirit & soul

I want to stand on the mountain tops & scream
I want to fly in the clouds & dream
Of possibilities, of fantasies, of reckless abandon
breaking the shackles of this world & soaring.

I envy you, your ability to release yourself.
I want to watch you across a crowded room
with a glass of wine in my hand. See you working
the crowd, charming the women, and crowing with the
men. I just want to watch & see who you are, see if you notice
me watching you, seeing you. All of you.

Come, smell my hair & we will fly together.